new years eve

you bore me. 2009 bring it on

don't know where to shop?

i have the solution for you!

merry christmas ya filthy animal

kanye west is a dumbass

1:33 onward or just watch the whole thing

christmas dogz

so with all of this festive cheer in the air i have to say i am a bit anxious about finding the best gifts for everyone. in doing so I have to be up tomorrow at 7 :30 am style (on my day off) to make sure I am able to purchase a gift that is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to find. also tomorrow i am going to the grove with my family to do some christmas shopping and watch the snow fall. i know zachariah will absolutely love it. following the grove royale is having a christmas/house warming party. it is bound to be a crazy day but loads of new photo updates and perhaps a video too!

a little nostalgia for your ears

makes me think of davey and i at the beginning of our relationship.

1am

it's 1 am and i should be pretty tired. i've been up for 19 hours, ick. antique swap meet again today. My parents bought davey and I this beautiful antique dresser that matched the mirror they bought us that looks like it was from the haunted mansion! it made me really happy and almost made me forget about the fact that the next two weeks will be absolute madness for me. I went in to betsey johnson last week and visited with shab we grabbed dinner together (davey tagged along too) and it was nice to see the store again, it feels like its been ages since I worked there. Uk trip coming up soon, i think while i am out there this time I will actually do some serious traveling and find a way to get my bum bums to scotland, ireland and france. i thought the beauts escaped today and i was too busy to look for her, luckily she was just hiding as i would have been devistated.

smashing pumpkins by the way were kind of a let down. davey loved the show while royale and i kept throwing each other looks of boredom and nils smoked in an indoor venue. christmas gifts are really hard this year, I am not sure if the merchandise out there is the ballies or if I am just losing my creativity with gifts.

this post is pointless and truly shows what an absolute cretton i have become with old age.

chills

2:36 onward...

get dark

what i want for christmas

cause i don't act my age anyway...

THIRTEEN THINGS YOU LOVE:
1. Babydoll dresses
2. Bret Easton Ellis
3. Wicked the musical
4. blogging
5. video editing
6. disneyland
7. london
8. iced lattes
9. fluffy cats
10. sushi
11. airports
12. t-strap shoes
13. jammies

TWELVE MOVIES:
1. troop beverly hills
2. sleeping beauty
3. there will be blood
4. the painted veil
5. batman returns
6. showgirls
7. beaches
8. volver
9. american psycho
10. no country for old men
11. big fish
12. lolita

ELEVEN GOOD BANDS/ARTISTS:
1. pj harvey
2. nick cave and the bad seeds
3. nin
4. tori amos
5. elliott smith
6. the veils
7. the chameleons
8. joy division
9. death in june
10. the jesus and mary chain
11. portishead

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU:
1. addicted to internet shopping.
2. always tired.
3. never listen to my voicemail.
4. i sing louder than anyone i know
5. antisocial.
6. i dress like i am 8 years old.
7. I only watch lifetime television unless dexter, little britain, or the l word is on.
8. i own over 200 dresses.
9. i'd rather be in tights and a peter pan collar dress than jean and a t shirt any day.
10. i like to be on my own.

NINE GOOD FRIENDS:
1. davey
2. royale
3. christina
4. nils
5. shab
6. amanda
7. alana
8. bre
9. rooty

EIGHT FAVORITE FOODS/DRINKS:
1. sushi
2. vegan pad thai
3. sizzling rice soup
4. iced lattes
5. snyders buffalo wing flavored pretzel bites
6. chocolate soy milk
7. kinder bueno
8. del taco

SEVEN THINGS YOU WEAR DAILY:
1. cardigan
2. juicy sweatpants (evening in house only)
3. studio fix
4. sunglasses
4. beenie
5. target sandals
6. my 'Lauren' necklace.
7. a dress of some kind.

SIX THINGS THAT YOU HATE:
1. meat
2. white people who try to be 'urban/black/gangster'
3. wifeswap
4. philosophy
5. celebrity gossip mags/webpages
6. hearing the phrase 'look at these ones' on a day to day basis.

FIVE THINGS YOU DO DAILY:
1. drive
2. eat
3. sleep
4. piss davey off
5. take my time getting ready.

FOUR TELEVISION SHOWS YOU WATCH:
1. little britain
2. dexter
3. frasier
4. will and grace

THREE THINGS YOU WANT:
1. a condo in Los Angeles
2. A flat in london
3. meat supply to be limited.

TWO THINGS YOU SAY OFTEN:
1. figure it out
2. beauts

ONE PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH:
1. David Williams

nothing much has been inspiring me lately to write or to share my feelings. I have been kind of busy (literally working 17 days in a row) my next day off will be thanksgiving. i feel as if my whole body is functioning on autopilot whilst my brain is somewhere else entirely. i'm looking forward more and more to my eventual trip back to the uk. it feels like it's been ages and i really need to get back into the city that holds so much importance in my life.

i am very fortunate right now that i have people in my life that accept me for how crazy i am and support me whole heartedly but at this point in my life i am very comfortable just being on my own. if i haven't responded back to phone calls, texts, emails, messages in a bottle etc....i'm truly sorry. i'll be back in a few days, i just need some time away.

while this is a few weeks late i thank all of you that helped pass prop 2. while the election was quite the bummer for me so to speak i am happy that prop 2 was my glimmer of optimism shining through. apparently there aren't as many monsters in california as i once thought. every wilber in the old ca thank you i'm sure.

there has also been a bit of exciting news from davey's end over the past few weeks not only does he have a show in december coming up with iv but he is also taking part in the return of one of my favorite bands psychotica. so he is the little busy bee but it's nice to hear him rehearse songs that are nostalgic of the old days.

so for now i say goodnight. see you very soon. xo

terminal 5 please

see you in february...

irony

i've been extremely sad lately. i feel like i need a hug. i wish i could sever any feelings of abandonment in my life. i want to cry but I can't be bothered. i need to toughin' up. i need a familiar face.

stairway to heaven

here is a video of my three year old nephew singing stairway to heaven feel free to tell me how cute the little ratzy is:

computer says no

antony

well well well last night was beyond my expectations. never in my life would i have pictured going to a concert and leaving with such a feeling of happiness juxtaposed with sadness and hope. Davey and I had excellent seats. So great that we were seated next to drew barrymore and about ten feat away from antony and the orchestra. antony played a lot of great material but my favorite moment of the night was when he transitioned into 'I Fell in Love With a Dead Boy' I was so blessed to see something so great last night and truly in such a beautiful theater. Going to the disney concert hall is quite comparable to going to an airport. I was filled with such excitement and questioning the unknown and everyone seemed to be so anxious for the evening ahead. I felt like I was floating through the concert hall, and the moment the show began everyone became so quiet and still it was truly magnificent.

watching shows like that always make me wonder about myself. They make me feel a certain way for quiet a while and I cling close to those feelings for as long as I can because I don't want to let them go. Antony was dressed in this white gown that had some sort of swirled detailing along the shoulders. It looked like icing on an extravagant wedding cake. He was wearing a pair of oxford flats that looked oddly similar to a pair I just picked up at forever 21 that according to davey resembled something estelle getty would wear. the more and more time progresses the more davey is taking note of my odd coincidences with gay men. regardless of my delusions of grandeur i feel very lucky to have experienced last night. plus check out my new toy that I picked up in the gift shop:



it's a magnet!

edgar allan poe

who knew that poetry written by a macabre poet could take on such life and beauty in an antony and the johnsons song?

i have been brushing up on some new antony songs as I will be going to the disney concert hall on tuesday for what i hope to be one of the best things I ever witness in my life.

whilst youtubing i came across this video which I couldn't help but post as it made me cry. i must be extremely sensitive right now because this song has no relevance really to my own life but the scene itself is so sad to me. Antony's voice is so beautiful the only thing that doesn't get my seal of approval in this vid is the weenie flash. sorry folks!

hilarious

madness

this week has been very busy.i celebrated royale's birthday at an indian restaurant named 'electric karma' i didn't eat anything but i did however watch loads of bollywood videos inside the restaurant.

between the smells of curry and mint sauce i managed to spend a bit of time with some faces i haven't seen in a while. i suppose this whole growing-up thing has taken its toll on my old partying ways.

amanda finally moved down here so to celebrate her arrival we drove to the bodega in santa monica. The bodega is a cutesy little lounge that doesn't offer hard alcohol but instead an array of appetizers and best of all strongbow. we finished the night at swingers and then i drove home with my front head light out and a fear of getting pulled over.

friday was christinas birthday. nothing to be said there as christina was nowhere to be found. i had to work anyway, and then pick up davey at the st. simon and jude fair that he was volunteering at with my dad.

saturday was spent with my nephew perusing through holloween costume ideas and eating in and out french fries.

sunday antiquing with the fam and then work followed by a bbq that i was twenty minutes too late for. I ate del taco for the upteenth time and watched an amazing episode of dexter.

today i am at work until really late, haven't ate dinner as i am trying to be cheap and save money. i already spent my allotment for today on starbucks and chipotle so dinner will just have to wait.

london!

it's been 13 months since I have last been to the uk and it really feels like a lifetime. I can't remember the last time I have missed a city so much. in order to concentrate my sadness in a more positive way I began watching a live feed of the city on the following website:

http://www.earthcam.com/uk/england/london/

now, it's not a super fast connection so the feed itself freezes and takes a while to load, but it is so worth it just to see the people walk by in their coats and scarfs while I roast in california in 95 degree weather (in october).

college teacher?

So this week I taught my first class. It made me really nervous and shaky and uncertain about my own abilities. It was in front of a bunch of college students, the majority of them close to graduating and some of them older than me. It really put things into perspective and it made me see how difficult teaching truly can be. My mom is one of the best teachers I have ever had, both as a mother and as my 8th grade teacher. I am truly blessed to have her as a mentor and as a support system and I honestly felt her presence with me as I was teaching my first class.

Teaching philosophy can be very difficult and without fear of being vague, hours of preparation are necessary to make sure your lesson is perfect.

While I was up there my palms were sweaty and my cheeks felt warm and I kept trying to make eye contact with each student as they were answering my questions. The whole lesson wasn't longer than 45 minutes but it seemed like it was only 5 minutes until I concluded my lesson on aesthetics.

After the class I spoke to my mom about teaching as a full time career choice and I am unsure of whether or not that is the route I want to take. After teaching to college students there is no doubt in my mind that is the route I would like to take if I am to become a teacher. I am just unsure if the challenge of teaching college level is as compelling to me as being a lawyer.

only time will tell, but this week I am uncertain.

dear darkness...

it's odd how I have about 100 views a day typically on this blog, and yet very few people comment, so I know there are some of you out there that land on my page by accident and others must have some kind of interest in my going on abouts and happenings...with that said if you are really curious about me and what i am up to watch these videos...they are so inspirational and are completely what i love about entertaining.


2:03 onward is my reasoning for loving peej.

apathy

apathy, apathy, apathy. when angry choose apathy. i'm too old for today, and far too old for yesterday. apathy babe, it's all you need

chinchi

one chinchilla called flufferstein please.

chie mihara

you make shoes that i think about all day. your pricing is the pits, but god i love the colors you choose, and your t-straps are to die for. i look everyday on the bay hoping that something will turn up in my size and for a reasonable price. i wish you used vegan materials instead of leather, but seeing as you are from spain i realize that is not a very realistic expectation. anyone want to find me these preferably in uk 7 or us 9? i would be much obliged.

somehow that apartment in london overlooking chelsea sounds great to me. perhaps a studio flat near covent garden that will keep me afloat with the tourists and the street entertainers. in the evenings i'll take my tea with milk and walk across the thames and watch parliament reflect off of the water all the while laughing at where life has taken me. when all is confused, london is the answer. and i'll dance like a longo portrait and everyone will know my name.

cute things

silly how something like this makes me want bangs again... wonder where my scissors are?

nick cave

We arrived at the bowl really early. It was around 5:30 pm and the tickets said 7:30 so we had some time to kill. Luckily they let us in early and we were able to take a look at our seats. Which luckily were amazing! Here is our view of the stage:



After relaxing in our seats for a few minutes we proceeded to the patina where we had our dinner:



Once we were finished with that, we walked around the venue a bit more. I saw sweetpea from last seasons project runway, while looking around for other people and scopin' out the crowd.

After a bit of time had passed at our seats Davey and I had made friends with some of the security at the hollywood bowl, all of which were very nice to us. In fact one of these security guards ended up making our night a little bit later but I will get to that in a few minutes. So, at around 7 we call our friend nils to see if he is here, which in fact he was and we met up with him for a little bit before catpower came on.

Once catpower started she immediately reminded Davey and I of our friend Bre. In fact it was really entertaining to watch her and her band, I was really surprised at how good her voice was.

Spiritualized came on, they were good. I really liked his back up singers, I thought it was a good opener for Nick, and they were extremely well received. Well after that, it was time for the big dog to come out. I couldn't have been more excited when I saw him take the stage. I hadn't felt like that since I was a kid going to see Tori Amos. Well actually I did get really excited last year when I went to see PJ Harvey at the orpheum, but not nearly as much as I felt when I saw Nick Cave standing ten feet away from me:



Let me just say that the show was amazing! So good, so fun, and I loved that I was so close to the whole band. It was really fun to watch Warren so close as well, he was really entertaining.



After about twenty minutes of the set, the security guard that we had made friends with earlier grabbed Davey and I and brought us in front of everyone so we were directly in front of the stage. We couldn't believe it. Shortly after bringing us to the front of the stage Nick approached Davey during the song 'Papa Won't Leave You Henry' and grabbed Davey's chin and sang to him. After that he put the microphone to Davey and Davey sang one of the lines with Nick. It was really cool to watch Davey so happy and so chuffed. I know it meant a lot to him. As it would be of course I was so in the moment that I did not take any photos or videos of the encounter but luckily a few of our friends witnessed it as it happened. Here is a view however of our upgraded view after our security bud J.D took care of us:





Here is a video of our view :

perfect

domo!

tomorrow is nick cave!!!! whoooooweeeeee! i will have a video of that for sure, in the meantime here is a video of my new pet domo! well not really a pet, but you get what i mean.

magical

it seems like lately I have been relying on video blogs to convey my thoughts, but truly it's more entertaining and more accurate than any words I can muster up. this video is meaningful to me in so many ways, but it feels more like me right now than usual so here it is:

what a beasel

thanks for the memories

sick yet reflective.

i often spend the majority of my day worrying. i do a lot of it. i wish that for a few weeks i could relax and not worry about a thing. spend all day doing adventures and outdoor activities. i know it's a bit passe but i would love to go skiing soon. it's so much fun and it's so beautiful. i'm all about adventures lately. i'm just like one big kid ready to go out and play. tomorrow is my mom's birthday and she looks great for her age. honestly, anyone that knows my mom knows she's an absolute babe. i think that for the most part she looks great because she refrains from worrying and spends a lot of her time having fun with life. she is one the hardest workers I know, and really the most deserving of a lifetime vacation, but somehow she always seems to find the fun and happiness in life. i love her so much and I can only hope that I turn out to be like her when I am her age. i credit all of my goodness to her. tomorrow I plan on getting her favorite sprinkles cupcakes and Davey and I are making dinner for her and my entire family. I am still sick and hacking up my lungs and what not but it's ok at least I have the day off.

my personality in a video

compliments of polly's veggywood

We all know how important the presidential election is in November, but those of us in California are getting the chance at something just as important (in my opinion).

Prop 2 is the most far reaching animal rights legislation that I have seen in my life time. It is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that this pass!!

If you are like me, you probably have skipped over some of the bills up for approval before and gone straight to the election stuff. PLEASE do not pass this up!!

Simply, Prop 2 will outlaw keeping farm animals in cages so small they cannot turn around or sit down in. That's it. And farmers have until 2015 to make the changes!! It is what I would think of as an easy sell, but it's not!

To read all the facts about Prop 2 go to this great site:

http://www.yesonprop2.com

Please take a moment to educate yourself on this very very important issue.

terrible

i'll admit i was heavily involved with pcs my entire life. it wasn't until about three years ago that my first mac came into my life, and I was changed for life. Anyone that has a mac will tell you they are the best, I honestly don't know what I was doing with a pc for so long. i am not the only one that feels this way, and companies like microsoft are really feeling the burn so to speak and have resulted to paying 10 million dollars for jerry seinfeld to appear in some new ad campaign that honestly makes no sense. i'll let you be the judge, but really how stupid is this ad?



now compare that to this ad:




if you enjoyed that mac ad watch this one it has the american/japanese and uk versions:

sick again!

well folks. the bug got me again. i'm pretty sure i keep medicine companies afloat with my consistent and rather irritating body. nine inch nails in a couple of days, i hope i am well by then as I know that this show means a lot to davey. in other news amanda is moving to california! this is great news, and I can't wait to see her when october comes!

antique swap meet on sunday too. i am soo excited for my trees! and for waking up at 6am! i hope i am not too terribly sick come sunday, that would really be the pits.

5k results

well we all did it. We arrived at Disneyland around 6:30 am. The race started as planned at 7 am on the dot. The first mile went by really quickly. I dashed ahead of everyone, and tried really hard to get in front of the majority of the runners. Well after the first mile I started to loose a lot of energy and i started to get a pinch in my side.

at second mile, I was no longer in front of my family but rather between my brother, davey and julie and ahead of my mom and my dad. I decided that I would wait a little bit and walk/ jog with them afterall it wasnt any fun running on my own. Right around the second mile they had water stands ready for us. i had a little bit of water and started jogging a bit faster.

At around the end of the second mile my dad just took off out of nowhere and passed my mom and I. We spent the last end of it catching up to him and when we finally did, I had completely lost all of my juice. When I turned the corner at the last half mile I heard my brother, julie, and davey cheering for us and waiting for us at the end of the finish line. They hadn't crossed it yet, so we decided to all cross together holding hands and being very cheese balloon.

At the end of the race we had our photos taken and it was awesome to know that we all did it and that we finished together.

john mccain, sarah palin

nice surprise to wake up to today...

free fallin'

not on my list for the next 10 months but definately on there for the next 3 years

hippy shopping

why is it that when you shop at a health food store or a market like trader joes there are always the weirdest looking creatures in the world shopping beside you?

i mean it's one thing to be around eccentrics, but it's another to feel like you were dropped off at woodstock sans maxi-dress with a pipe and no weed to smoke.

walking along the aisles of your local trader joes is comparable in my mind to what I imagine my father must feel when he walks into hot topic or is forced to eat vegetarian cuisine. for those of you that don't know my father that feeling would be that of sheer panic.

"is this stuff dietetic? i don't want any of that tofu stuff! imitation bacon? jesus! i think that dietetic stuff causes anal leakage"

that's all that goes through my mind when i think of my dad's take on vegan/vegetarian food. and that is close to my take on the people that shop with me at trader joes...'god, i hope these people don't cause anal leakage'

extremists bug me. extremists of any kind... and that includes me. i'm an extremist when it comes to animals and being a vegetarian, and for that I understand that some people may hate me for it, but at least you don't have to hold your breathe when I walk by you, or focus all of your strength on looking at me in the eye rather than noticing my dreadlocks are brushing against your produce.

10 things in 10 months

1. save $6,000

2. lose 15 pounds

3. clean out my closet

4. spend two weeks in the uk

5. record songs with davey

6. go to the gym 3-4 times a week

7. weekend trips (one to palm springs and one to las vegas)

8. go parasailing

9. read 10 new books

10. get beachcruisers and a tent with wheels for beards and rooty.

youthful folly, jubilance and hijinx

it's like being beaten over the head with a rainbow...

christmas trees

so much magic in christmas it is honestly something that is hard to describe. while i was antiquing, I came across these beautiful christmas trees. I want all of them. i hope they are there in september, i want to buy a couple to put up on my antique shelf.

alvin, simon, theodore...

today was busy, but we still managed to find time to make a video.

today in a nutshell:


-carwash
-rehearsal
-disneyland
-dinner
-videos
-frasier
-golden girls


by the way, disneyland was so crowded today, we hardly did anything but eat loads and walk around some of the shops. Davey made us dinner with the morning star fake chicken strips and some chow mein noodles. I think it has become his specialty. The mark twain riverboat is by far one of the most fun and relaxing things to do at disneyland. We had choice seating too, I had to run and elbow my way through, but I know it was worth it to see Davey so chuffed.

p.s the new myspace bacon background is not only sick but it is super offensive. I plan on writing one of those annoying letters that people read and think to themselves 'who has the time for this?' i am also writing a letter to disneyland in regard to their use of pig gelatin in all of their candy...that shizola is sick dog status.

while your kids are going off to college...

we used the imovie software for bigger and better things:

I ain't down here for your love or money...I'm down here for your soul...

only a little bit more time now before Nick Cave. I honestly haven't been this excited over a show since new kids on the block when i was 8 pretending to be 10 just in case i ran into Joey McIntyre. I anxiously await my evening with Davey, we will have so much fun at this show. I actually don't know if fun is the right word. perhaps jubilant, and emotional...who knows. I do however hope that this little dandy of a man plays the following:



this one ESPECIALLY:


and of course this one:


i don't know what it is about nick cave, but he takes all of the feelings I get when I think of christmas, the uk, night time drives, daytime naps, love, romance, nostalgia and of course music and puts it together into one beautiful package. i also love the bad seeds too thanks to davey of course. He introduced me to all of this wonderful music... i gave him elliott smith though, not too bad of a trade off if you ask me.

benny

pray for our little benny...our little guy is very sick. we spent the day with my mom, i know how close she is to bentley and it was sad to see how worked up she gets at the idea of not having bentley in our life. I am about to go grocery shopping for her as she is going to make some eggplant lasagna on my behalf.
please have benny in your thoughts, he is an absolute gem in all of our lives.

when life hands you lemons...

this week has been absolutely desolate. a real disaster. searching for apartments is the worst thing in the world.

first of all...i don't want to look for another apartment...i want to look for a house, ok well realistically i want to look for a condo. i want to be landing on my feet not throwing myself under the poverty line. what is the matter with me?!?!?! at some point i need to give up on the shopping thing. this week alone I bought a new dress, sweater and coat from betsey. i swore up and down to davey i would not buy anything more this month. The closet space alone is killing him.

secondly..i love love love my cats, but they are serving to be quite the burden when searching for apartments in long beach...additional deposits left and right....that is if we are even lucky enough for them to allow pets in the first place. one of Davey's best friends Scraggs just moved to Portland with his wife Lindsay and their baby Kyla. In Portland there are no taxes, great deals on apartments and the city is really booming. I told Davey we should move to Portalnd, but he said if he is moving anywhere else besides somewhere in L.A county it's going to be either New York or London.

The worst thing about moving is family and friends. I wish when you moved you could take all of your friends and family with you in a little suitcase. A darling jeweled case lined with purple velvet and I could pull them out whenever I wanted. The idea of making new friends at this point doesn't completely repulse me, I just don't want to miss life with the old ones.

Work has been absolutely killing me the past few weeks. I have absolutely zero time for myself. My two days off are no longer next to one another, so I get to embrace the idea of constantly thinking about work and having no time to sort anything else out. My mom thinks I am going to have a mental breakdown, and I am quite certain the past couple of conversations I have had with her have driven her to that conclusion.

Perusing through craigslist everyday has become my life. Searching for really just about everything under the sun with the exception of the personals section. The 5k at Disneyland is coming up, I would lie if i told you I was ready. The past few weeks I have not gone to the gym once. I am a big tubsy, and the idea of getting into running shorts and my trainers is about as thrilling as getting into a tub of ice water with pneumonia.

amanda called me last night, i was on the phone with her for about an hour and 15 minutes. I can't remember the last time I spoke on the phone like that. Usually I just text or webchat...what is my world coming to??

which leads me to my final thought...sewing machines. Anyone know how to work the hello kitty sewing machine from target? if so much help would be appreciated. I have a lot of sewing to do here folks, and I need to get it all underway...

just like drives home after high school...

this one is spawned by davey and polly:

thank you

i am officially an old bag

so i am currently reading the estelle getty autobiography 'If I knew then what I knew now...So What!' and I find myself identifying with estelle in more ways than one.

first the whole deal about old people waking up the same hour everyday regardless of whether or not they go to bed at 2 in the morning or 8 pm in the evening, somehow they always wake up at around 6 am everyday.

well that is basically me. i will go to bed at various times in the evening all week but I can not sleep in past 9 am. I am always up like clockwork between 8:50-9:10 am. this may not seem very early to anyone, but to me it's the absolute pits. davey will sleep in until 11:30 everyday. there is not a day that goes by when he wakes up before me ever. he always can sleep, and i can't.

this broke my heart.

how they could do that to a poor little girl is just so sad to me.

nostalgia will lead me away

costco and target

i love when i have saturdays off and can run around costco and target like a mad woman and drive everyone nuts with my excitement. truly i am a such a consumer...i do however hate being pegged or targeted by commercials and advertisements. i like to think i make my own decisions. which is why i love places like costco and target. i go in there without really needing anything and leave with loads of treasures. certain advertisement pleas actually completely disturb me to the point of shear repulsion such as the new 'secret, get your hands up' ad campaign...you know the one i am speaking of...the woman runs around the city thinking of any excuse to get her arms up in the air and wave them around like a total spastic....ya you know every woman salutes a door man and claims 'at ease captain' what an absolute creep.

on the flipside however I like, sorry scratch that I LOVE the new kaiser permanente ad with the little chubster blonde boy who speaks about his health like he was a 50 year old southern man who is recovering from a drinking problem...his voiceover being layered over images of him drinking soda pop and eating tons of junk food...that is a gem of an ad. makes me want to break some kind of limb or bone in my body just so i can identify...

one more thing before i get off my soapbox...olympics. why do you waste an hour of my time with the cyclists peddling their way to victory? the road looks the same however angle you choose...nothing is changing folks, i hate to say it...but really the only thing i could comment on was the fact that you couldn't help but feel badly for the men who's balls are so obviously being tortured/cramped by the combination of fast pace, spandex, and banana seat. please! give me my women's gymnastics and leave me be!

inspiration for everything right now

i did not defy gravity

i'm back from the contest. i thought i did pretty well, not too much to complain about, i just wish i would have sung the wizard and i instead of defying gravity. it was just not the right song to really showcase my voice. oh well, kate sam, royale, and carly brought posters with my name on it. they were soo cute and so sweet it makes my heart break a little bit. i feel guilty for not making the cut because i feel like i owed it to them. also it was so weird when i went up on stage i got called out on my obsession with pigs. that was very awkward and caught me totally off guard.

now that it is all said and done i am glad that i did it but i do regret my song choice. davey was so supportive of me tonight i felt soo badly and so hurt to see that he was upset. i am so lucky to have him in my life i know that is why i must marry him. no one in this world is more supportive of me.

which takes me to my last point....i got a proof back from our photoshoot yesterday. i wasn't going to share the photo until we sent out our engagement announcements/save the date but i suppose if i upload it in small form it will be a taste of what is to come. so here it is folks...enjoy:

pshh

today was nothing short of CHAOTIC, and i know tomorrow will be just as nuts. can i get a vacation to tahiti?

FIRST OF ALL:
engagement photos were today, i was roastin' in 100 degree weather. i honestly thought i was going to faint as i have been known to drop like flies in hot weather. i am pretty sure i drove sean nuts with all of my moving around and constant laughing. the shoot was fun even though i was overtly conscience of my arms looking chubbs mcgee and the heat causing my face to melt off.

SECONDLY:
the drive was ridiculous. i put 50 bucks in my car today and i only have about 3 gallons left.

THIRDLY:
the british pub we went to had strongbow (woot woot) but it was flat (wahhh wahh wahhhhhh) so i canceled my strongbow substituted stella artois and the stella was even more flat than the strongbow...

FOURTHLY:
As i was parallel parking this crazy woman in a red jaguar starts honking her horn and acting nuts screaming at me. Davey jumped out of the car so fast and told the woman to back up and that we were parking there and she started getting all crazy on him too and throwing her hands in the air and screaming....Davey was so pissed i thought he was going to kick the woman's windshield in. After he scared her a bit she took off thank god and I was able to park my car as planned.


Well tomorrow is the big day. we will see what happens. I will try my best and regardless of what happens, i am sure it will be a lot of fun.

a fair is a wonderful shmorgesborg...

a few highlights...

yay!!!

so i just found out i got chosen to perform next wednesday!!! i am soo excited and nervous! eek

wish me luck

ok so i submitted myself for the 'wannabe wicked' contest that is going on here at the universal studios city walk. you can view my epk press kit here:

View Lauren Stanley's EPK


within the next week i will know if i made it as a semi-finalist and from then I will go to the city walk sing my song and hope that i get chosen as a finalist. after that they will put up everyones submission video and you will be able to vote for whom you think should win the contest!

the winner will receive a one time opportunity to be in the show at the pantages for one night only. i am very excited at this opportunity folks. you never know what could happen.

attention vegetarians/vegans

the above is the most genius, delicious absolutely satisfying frozen vegan meal yet. i put these in the microwave or in the oven with aluminum foil for a few minutes along with some brown rice or steamed vegetables and i am completely happy. serve these to your animal eating friends and they will be shocked at how tasty they are.

now don't expect them to literally look and taste like an animal's ribcage. after all it's not a dead carcass that has been rotting or bleeding dry. but it is however good for those people that like the taste of meat but hate the idea of killing an innocent life or not too self consumed to care.

p.s davey and i are speaking about having a total cruelty free wedding. i don't want to enjoy the big day and then wonder how many innocent animals were killed on behalf of us.

antiquing

this sunday my whole family is going to the antique swap meet in irvine. it is so much fun even if i don't buy anything i always enjoy myself. davey and i just purchased this really cute antique shelf for 20 bucks at chicago antiques this weekend and I had a vision of spray painting it cherry red after looking at emily's shelf which i of course love, what isn't there to love when it is made by her:


currently the little shelf is black, but i would like to see a little bit more color in our green room.

this is what you get when you marry a british man

Thanks to davey you can enjoy the following clip:

feifel goes west

yesterday I was walking out of a parking structure when I noticed a little mouse by the steps where a lot of foot traffic happens. I thought when I walked near the mouse he would for sure run as fast as he could, but instead of running I noticed he was shaking a little bit and had a broken leg. I panicked and was uncertain about what to do as I had nothing on me but my purse and I honestly debated whether or not I should put the mouse in my purse and take him to the nearest pet hospital.

As I got closer to the mouse, I reached my hand out to pet him and was relieved when I noticed he calmed down a bit. After a few minutes of speaking softly to him and trying to maneuver him closer to a bush I got the courage to pick him up. As I picked him up i looked closely to his little face and I could tell he was scared. As I started to move him into the bush a woman saw that I had him in my hand and started screaming. I mean really going for it screaming.

Now, this woman was about 230 lbs 5'10 and clearly much larger than this little mouse but nonetheless her scream was strong enough to scare the little guy and upon his fear of her scream he bit me. I was completely shocked at this bite that my hands without thinking shook him out of my hands and he fell to the floor.

When his little body hit the ground I could hear his little squeak and he seemed to appear dead. I immediately started to cry and I called davey. The mouse remained on the floor for a couple of minutes and I thought for certain I had killed this little baby. I finally saw a bit of life in him and decided I would try to pick him up with a napkin. I know this sounds quite stupid as I should have got a box or a bag, but I was thinking fast and was afraid that someone would certainly step on him or release their dogs on him.

The worst was yet to come as this monster of a man asked me if it was my mouse...

I know right, who brings their mouse to an oudoor mall only to allow it loose around a full parking structure with cars zooming past. when i told the man that the mouse was injured and that he was wild he said i should kill it, or drown it. I was totally repulsed with this beast of a man and refused to leave the mouse now at this point even with the bite starting to bleed on my hand.

When I noticed one of the workers in the mall I called upon her as I was hoping she could get me a small box or bag to put him in. My hope ceased when I realized that this woman did not speak a word of english. The man called upon her to dust the mouse into her dust pan. I watched her do it and I looked at her and begged her not to kill him. The man said 'are you crazy? that mouse needs to be killed! all of these kids and dogs around...get rid of that filth.'

the fact that this man could look at this mouse which by now at this point had very little to no bite left literally, inside this little dust pan was just repulsive to me. the human race has more monsters than i once thought. i again looked at the mouse which now was looking up inside the dust pan to the mall worker with such fear in his eyes actually broke my heart.

what was meant to be a rescue mission has now turned terribly wrong and I am all to blame. I again looked at the woman and asked her to please put the mouse in the bushes and asked her to please not kill him. she shook her head in a way that at least i hope meant she wouldn't kill him, but i suppose i will never know. after the whole incident happened, i called my mom crying hysterically and was then told how stupid i am and how this 'animal rights' crap has gone too far. 'first it was not eating meat, then it was telling us all how sick we are for eating meat, and now this?'

i realized how foolish it is to pick up a wild rodent but that is just me i guess. i would do anything to stop animals from being killed regardless of what kind of animal they are. after my call to my mom i was urged to go to the hospital in which they treated my mouse bite with some bandages and a tetnus shot. thank god i didn't have to get a rabies shot, it turns out wild california mice do not carry rabies.

i can't get the image out of my head of that little mouse. i wish i could have taken him home with me. he was a little butter ball, a little baby...

upset stomach, waiting in lines, and running into old friends

davey and i just got home from the movies. i know friday night at the movies are a cliche but hey, when you only get one day off a week to go it's the only way. so first things first, mamma mia or dark knight? davey was assuming i wanted to see mamma mia first so when i decided to watch dark knight first i could see his excitement really go into overload. we get to the movies and quite frankly i wanted to leave right away because the lines were nothing short of chaotic.

children left and right, cougars in bebe sweat outfits, persians smoking cigarettes next to their children's strollers, high school gangsters, couples setting up shop in line with chairs stolen from the food court and their 'to go' sushi, families with wetzel pretzels, and davey and i.

i'll spare the spoilers and anything else that might be somewhat interesting and just stick to the point. dark knight is truly all it's cracked up to be.

heath ledger is all he's cracked up to be. and Gary Oldman.....well we love you.

because of the time crunch we didn't end up eating dinner but rather a meal of popcorn, sour patch kids and of course diet coke. a bit ironic but whatever works. we ate loads, i felt sick....had to pee about half way in but could not bare to get up and miss anything. this movie is that fast that if you are gone for five minutes you could miss everything.

afterwards davey and i did a mad dash to the toilet running past anything that didn't get their bum up within the first ending credit, we shuffled past a few of the old folks, and even a few of the young ones until we finally reached our destination toilet.

after one of the longest pees of my life, we walked out of the cinema only to run into my friend brinn that up until today hadn't seen in months. that was lovely. anyway now that i feel truly beast like i am going to get my big one to bed.

wahhh

petfinder breaks my heart:

adopt these babies together! please!!!!!!!!! They were found in a basket together clinging on to one another for comfort and survival. if davey and i didn't have the beauts you'd bet we would have both of these loves.





http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=11384729
http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=11384645

comfort lyrics

drink up, baby, stay up all night
the things you could do, you won't but you might
the potential you'll be, that you'll never see
the promises you'll only make

drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
do what I say and I'll make you okay and drive them away
the images stuck in your head

people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

drink up, baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars where I'm seeing you
there with your hands in the air, waiting to finally be caught

drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest
where I like you the best and keep the things you forgot

the people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

voicemails like dimitri

today while i was napping amanda left me a voicemail which i did not receive until now. it was so funny to me i had to post it as a video. forgive me for not knowing how to use my imovie to simply record sound:



here is a voicemail that is really awesome, i also wouldn't know about 'dimitri the stud' without amanda's myspace bulletins, but after watching this video you will be thrilled that i did.

estelle getty

today one of my favorite women in the world passed away. Estelle Getty who is best known for her role as Sophia Petrillo on 'The Golden Girls' passed away in Los Angeles around 5:30 am. I have had a very strong connection with Estelle for several years because of the fact that she reminded me so much of my nana Jimmie. When my nana passed away back in 2002 I clung close to my golden girls dvds as a reminder of my nana. Inevitably I began to watch the women to comfort my loss as well as make me feel happy.

Estelle was a woman that was so funny and delivered such a funny character in every performance it was difficult to not be charmed by her. I will miss knowing that someone like her existed in the world. She was one of a kind. I will keep Estelle's family and friends in my thoughts. Rest in Peace Estelle we love you!

so cute!

here's a video of kate, carly, sam and alana in vegas, they went to see coldplay this weekend. their video is so cute! relocated- Coldplay Viva La Vegas

where the hell is matt?

this video is pure genius, and really inspiring. talk about feeding the travel obsession

dinner, spins, wedding stuff.

last night davey and i went to dinner with nils. after dinner we went to get coffee and i seemed to be completely wired afterwards and had the spins. i went home asap and davey and nils proceeded to go out to visit joel at his new bar. all i have to say is peets coffee is the pits. and i will never go there again! i thought diedrichs was strong coffee? all day today i felt like crap. when i was dropping davey off at church today, i had another eyegraine. i even went into work for a little bit today and even then i couldn't wait to get out of there. we ended up going to dinner tonight with my mom, that was nice. it has been a while since i have gone out to dinner with my parents. My dad passed as he thinks pei wei is for the birds. i had the tofu and vegetable blazing noodles, however i don't think they were quite blazin' enough. after dinner i looked over a few different wedding photographers that caught my eye. i really like Jack Randall's photography and Kusha Alagband's wedding portfolio is to die for. My mom is so cute, today she bought the new vogue because of the dress kate moss is wearing on the cover inspired her for her dress that she wants to wear to the wedding. Davey wants beards to be the ring bearer although i think it will be stiff competition with little zachariah as our other choice (my first choice). As far as dates we are looking either in the end of august/september of 2009. Although depending on how we can get David's family all out here at once, it may require some more time, and if that is the case we will push it back to 2010 as to not have the wedding too close to the holidays. We will be sending out invitations very soon to our engagement party, which i am very excited about, this next year is going to go by so quickly and I know i will be a busy bee as I do not want a wedding planner.

i need a new macbook(pro)

because i keep adding more and more files of photos and videos, i need the macbook pro! i can't help it i have become obsessed! today everyone celebrated julie's birthday at my parents house. while everyone was outside in the backyard playing lawn tennis, zachariah and i made movies, here is one of them!

eden's last

many of my friends know my obsession with the musical wicked, in fact many of my friends even know my obsession with specific actresses that have played my dream role elphaba. amongst my favorite elphabas i would probably say that eden espinoza is my favorite. she was la's elphaba here at the pantages, and she brought tears to my eyes everytime i heard her sing defying gravity specifically the way she styles the song to match her voice. here is a video of eden's last performance as elphaba, she is magical.

hit me on my burner prepaid wireless

this song gets stuck in my head!! it also reminds me of last christmas loads! i hate songs like this really, but somehow really like this one now. i especially like that she is a 'bonafied hustler' who makes sandwiches.

as z baby would say 'rotonius piggy'

zachariah and davey always talk about the notorious piggy, and to be the notorious piggy is the equivalent of being the bollox. i think its funny how the two of them interact together.

right where it belongs

i remember when i was in high school, i had a nine inch nails sticker on the back of my car that i was so proud of. it was one of the first edition nin stickers that came to print and i remember thinking that everyone would know how truly awesome i was for having it. i used to drive around with different friends in my car playing certain parts of songs for them and telling them how it made me feel, or how it inspired me. i'm pretty sure nine inch nails is the only band that i can honestly say is my band. that is to say no one showed them to me, i wasn't given a burnt cd with a few of their hits on it, i didn't start listening to them because i thought it would make me cool, it was just the first band that made me feel alive. as cheesy and as nuts as that may sound to you, its as meaningful and serious as anything that i could say about any music. i am sure i drove everyone nuts with all of my over analyzing and sensitive nature to their music. i remember listening to the fragile all senior year of high school, and upon graduation i went to see them play at the then anaheim pond, now called the honda center. a perfect circle opened for them, and i remember thinking it was the best night of my life. eight years later, i still think it is up there as one of the best nights of my life. up until late i haven't been listening to nine inch nails very much because i have been listening to lou reed, nick cave, elliott smith and pj harvey for the past two years. i am kind of like that you see. i go through phases usually only listen to a few bands/artists over and over for a couple of years and then change it up to suit my life. it was a mistake a couple nights ago that this even happened. davey made a playlist on my itunes and it had the acoustic version of right where it belongs on it. i was on my own listening to it, and i felt like i was 17 again. all the emotion came back, and i felt something. it's weird for me to feel anything these days as i am very emotionally jaded, but at that moment i felt like i used to, and it felt great.

at long last

after three years of not driving in the U.S with the exception of the occasional drive in the old saturn before i got rid of it, davey has had absolutely no driving experience here what so ever. with that said at first it was absolutely terrifying to get in the car with him. Disneyland's autopia is no different than the wild roads of the 405 when you have davey in the drivers seat. see attached video:

none of my fears are as dear to me

while shopping on etsy i listened to one of my favorite bands of the past three years, the veils. The lead singer in this video reminds me of my friend nils, and this song is my favorite song of theirs, although i prefer the album version more.

save them!

i haven't eaten meat since i was 15. i wish i never had. it makes me absolutely sick to think that we are monsters to these animals. that our own human desire seems to be 'important' enough to butcher these innocent animals. stop being selfish, stop being greedy horders. get over your needs, and think about something other than yourself.

christian the lion

nils sent this to davey last night, i thought it was really cute. i got a bit teary eyed.

gymnopedie

i don't know why but every time i listen to gymnopedie my heart wanders off somewhere else. i instantly see davey and i walking through lax hopping on a plane to somewhere far away. probably the uk, but nonetheless somewhere adventurous and new. emile pandolfi's version is probably one of my favorite versions of gymnopedie because it isn't too fast and its not too slow to where you feel like you are in a saturn car commercial. in fact i think it was saturn that used gymnopedie in one of their commercials back when they were doing the whole "wave goodbye to childhood" commercials. anyway, i have this study mix/gym mix they are the same thing and its filled with all of my favorite songs, and i have three versions of gymnopedie on there, mixed with some chopin. i got inspired last season of dexter when deb was on the treadmill running to chopin so i figured i would try it out and it is really good for just letting your mind wander off while you are running. Pascal Roge is also really good, my favorite song of his would be his version of Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte.' i could listen to that song for hours. also gives me the travelling vibe, although with Roge's piano works I always imagine myself already on the plane getting ready to land somewhere as opposed to waiting to get on.

anyway here is a short video of Pavane Pour une Infante Defunte, hopefully one day I will be able to play like this:

the other man in my life

blake incarcerated

So, EVERYONE knows my obsession with amy winehouse is not anything new, i mean just one look at the wino and its painfully obvious to know why i love this train wreck/glorious maybe even flawless human being. today i like amy for her dedication to her blake... see following:



for a closer look:




perhaps its the mood/vibe im in but i think this is so cute. the end