Friday, January 29, 2010
hard reality
So it has become rather obvious to me the trend in 2010 is to get married and/or have babies. All of my college girlfriends seem to be handing in the single towel and getting married what seems like every other week. Those that aren't getting married are having babies and some of them are even on their second or third. I started thinking how young these women are and then the hard reality hit, we aren't that young anymore. As if i needed to add any more insult to injury, today on facebook I received an invite to my 10 year high school reunion. I will turn 28 years old in October and I can't even begin to tell you how much of a hard reality that is to swallow. Davey and I have been engaged for a very long time and the reasoning behind that is not because we aren't serious about each other but because we wanted to have certain things accomplished by the time we walked down the aisle. For starters I wanted to have a down payment on a house ready to go, I wanted my career to be in full swing and I wanted to have enough money to pay for certain things myself. I also want to be about 30 lbs lighter and be able to fly out all of Davey's family from the UK. There are all of these elements that we have to worry about and then when you throw a baby in the mix it's as if telling me I would have to sell my soul for food stamps in order to survive.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
vivetta
Vivi Ponti is an italian designer who makes clothes that are right up my street. I have discovered this gem through my friends Shab and Tara who have impeccable taste.
Peter pan collars, candy buttons, pastels, kitsch, babydoll, ahh! such beautiful unique clothes! I have never been so excited to see these items arrive on my doorstep. Since it is coming all the way from Italy I'm sure I will be waiting impatiently!
The quality is so substantial and the design is so unique I am quite surprised that more people haven't heard about Vivi.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
14 year old nostalgia
I went to a private catholic high school. Half way through my sophomore year I had enough and hit the high road to Orange County High School of the Arts. When I was in private school my mind viewed things much differently and I was much more a wall flower lacking the joie de vivre that I had come to know and love when I was around my 'art' friends. I found some sort of sanctuary in my solitude because I was able to explore music, art and myself. I would read plays and listen to classical music and give myself fake interviews in front of my bathroom mirror. I would put on my party dresses and I would pretend to sing Puccini to an adoring crowd all the while knowing there was a strong interest in something else that I felt I had yet to discover. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. The first day I discovered music.
The definition of music to me is much different to what your definition may be. For starters music had always consisted of cellos, piano, choirs, and sopranos. I thought that was the recipe for music and so I never looked elsewhere for an alternative. That was until the 8th grade. It was my last year in the private school that I had attended for the past 11 years. Pre-School -8th grade, who does that? Everyone I knew I could count on my fingers. My friendship circle consisted of a very small minority of children that were not only completely sheltered but also lacked a music repertoire beyond the radio stations their parents listened to while driving them to and from school. I remember paying off one of the girls in grade 7 to buy me music magazines because I was too embarrassed to ask my parents to buy me one when we were in the grocery store. She would bring me the magazines in a manila envelope and leave it on my desk prior to the beginning of class. This began my love for industrial music, that inevitable 'goth' girl in your art class, and all the other cliche roles I could possibly play during my high school/college career.
I must admit I don't think that my taste of music is superior to anyone else, but I must say that for me anyone sharing the same taste of music as me will always be looked at more fondly in my eyes regardless of any circumstances. I remember the first time I heard Tori Amos. I was 12 and it was during her release of 'Under the Pink' I listened to 'Baker, Baker' on repeat and cried. I begged my father to take me to a breakfast with Tori Amos that was hosted by radio Djs kevin and bean and I will never let him forget how thankful I am for him always supporting me and my crazy requests. I don't know too many fathers that would drive their teenage daughters at 6am to a radio show just for a peek at their favorite musician. I met Tori Amos that day and from then on my life was changed. The autographs added up, my walls were covered with concert memorabilia an homage to Tori, Trent, Courtney, Billy. In short I thought I was awesome.
Nothing can replicate that teenage feeling of listening to music in your room, door closed, candles/incense lit and thinking that no one understands you apart from from your favorite artists, and when you meet them everything just makes sense. I spent a lot of my youth alone, in a room, waiting for my life to begin. I never realized that it already had, that those moments would end up being some of the best memories of my life and the events that would make me who I am today.
The definition of music to me is much different to what your definition may be. For starters music had always consisted of cellos, piano, choirs, and sopranos. I thought that was the recipe for music and so I never looked elsewhere for an alternative. That was until the 8th grade. It was my last year in the private school that I had attended for the past 11 years. Pre-School -8th grade, who does that? Everyone I knew I could count on my fingers. My friendship circle consisted of a very small minority of children that were not only completely sheltered but also lacked a music repertoire beyond the radio stations their parents listened to while driving them to and from school. I remember paying off one of the girls in grade 7 to buy me music magazines because I was too embarrassed to ask my parents to buy me one when we were in the grocery store. She would bring me the magazines in a manila envelope and leave it on my desk prior to the beginning of class. This began my love for industrial music, that inevitable 'goth' girl in your art class, and all the other cliche roles I could possibly play during my high school/college career.
I must admit I don't think that my taste of music is superior to anyone else, but I must say that for me anyone sharing the same taste of music as me will always be looked at more fondly in my eyes regardless of any circumstances. I remember the first time I heard Tori Amos. I was 12 and it was during her release of 'Under the Pink' I listened to 'Baker, Baker' on repeat and cried. I begged my father to take me to a breakfast with Tori Amos that was hosted by radio Djs kevin and bean and I will never let him forget how thankful I am for him always supporting me and my crazy requests. I don't know too many fathers that would drive their teenage daughters at 6am to a radio show just for a peek at their favorite musician. I met Tori Amos that day and from then on my life was changed. The autographs added up, my walls were covered with concert memorabilia an homage to Tori, Trent, Courtney, Billy. In short I thought I was awesome.
Nothing can replicate that teenage feeling of listening to music in your room, door closed, candles/incense lit and thinking that no one understands you apart from from your favorite artists, and when you meet them everything just makes sense. I spent a lot of my youth alone, in a room, waiting for my life to begin. I never realized that it already had, that those moments would end up being some of the best memories of my life and the events that would make me who I am today.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
2010 thus far.
So far 2010 has been really good to me. For starters I was able to welcome in the new year in this adorable cabin in echo park with close friends and a certain mister to have my new years kiss with and force to drink champagne with me. I had a wonderful Christmas holiday with my friends and family and received tons of great gifts from Davey and my family. This Christmas I scored five new dresses from Anthro, new ysl perfume, an arial book of France, some wii video games and an absurd amount of starbucks gift cards. There is a job possibility that seems rather promising that I feel would be a great chapter to start out on for the new year and I couldn't be happier with the people I have to support me. Being vegan has proven to have a lot of great new foods as well this year with the addition of Daiya cheese to my everyday essentials and Polly's fantastic advice from her veggywood blog to keep my taste buds happy as pie. I look forward to seeing what this year brings for me, and even more excited to see what it brings to the important people in my life.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
what to do.
i am my own worst critic as well as being my biggest enemy. there are so many things that i would like to do, so many places i would like to live and so many careers i would like to pursue but at the end of the day i make myself panic and afraid to take risks. i would love to move to new york, or london. i would love to be a chorus girl on a national tour only to find myself a lead role in a few years time, i would love to go back to ballet, i would love to practice law, i would love to be in politics and i would love to live in strausberg. i want to go back blonde, but i like my black hair, i want to travel all the time but i don't want to be away from my parents. i would love to go out more but i like to spend time at home. i love peter pan collars and babydoll dresses but i am sick of people viewing me as a child rather than an adult. i want to have more friends but i have a hard time being a good friend to those that i already have.
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