I began thinking over the past few days about the cliche saying 'when one door closes another one opens' and naturally thought about the flow sequence of my life. it turns out the saying holds a bit of truth when it comes to little ol' me and it's truly a blessing that I have come out of all of the bullshit alive.
you see I have always been a person that has attracted drama. I got it from my mother who got it from her mother and so on and so forth. Even as a small child my mother would advise me to be cautious around everyone. That I naturally give off a sense of arrogance, and for most people I was viewed more of a bitch and less like a little girl even at the ripe age of 8 I had to learn this lesson the hard way.
Fortunately, I have come to terms with this trait I have been given and have learned to play with it. I have been blessed and cursed to find friends that are awesome enough to handle it and even more blessed and not so much cursed to find a man that supports me and humbles me in one of the most positive and beautiful relationships I have ever known.
One friend in particular who was very good to me, did me wrong and I was too immature to understand why it happened until much later in life. But it was the loss of trust with someone that I viewed like a sister that caused me to loose trust in everyone that I felt close to and the downward spiral continued until I got rid of everyone around me...including myself.
I like to call those days my glory days because I didn't give a damn about anyone but myself. I didn't trust a soul and I didn't care either. I played a role, whichever one worked for the moment, and in some ways it got me very far. At the time of this loss I had the worlds worst boyfriend ever. A true loser by every definition in the book, and the worst part he was ugly as sin on the inside as well as the out. I could probably write a novel about how ugly he was but in order to spare you with all the horrid details (and spare myself as well) I will sum it down to three words. Balding, short, craterface. Well i suppose I made the last one into one word but what the hell anyway...after all this is my blog.
So, I took note of where my life had led and I knew that my life was not meant to lead down this path, not to mention the fact that I myself had began seeing someone else in hopes to find that 'something else' that I was out there looking for. Luckily for me it was a cinch to walk away from this creep because even after things had ended and he was now together with the woman he was cheating on me with it was only a matter of time before he was asking me to come back and telling me how we were meant to be together (while he was still together with the other girl). Honestly the thought of being with this person now is so revolting and embarrassing that even to this day this person is a returning joke amongst my friends of all the trash we have come to know in our lives.
Fast forward 6 months later and I am in London with my best friends, and I meet the most wonderful man in the world. Full head of hair, beautiful face, and tall. phew...life was looking up.
it took the door closing of a hideous relationship to really appreciate a beautiful man when i see one. Lord knows he wasn't waiting for me in Los Angeles.
The other door opened, and on the other side was a british man with an uncanny taste for the finer things in life and a heart of gold.
meaning of the story...i win.
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