hatred

it's an ugly thing, but hell i have a lot of it. i think the problem with it is that it eventually turns into anger and hatred towards those that really are quite nice to me or even people that truly love me.  i suppose that it is necessary for people to imitate, copy, replace, revise etc.... but is it entirely necessary for it to be something that is an on going theme in my life? 

take countless people and place them in a room. some good maybe some even amazing. suppose then there will be a couple of absolute reject losers that of course will gravitate towards me and insist on becoming like me or perhaps some kind of warped version of me.  i am sick of the imitators. 

next step i think it's a bit of a cliche at this point in my life to say the following:

"I think I will just move out of here, everything sucks, orange county is shit."

"I am just really not understood, my creative energy is just soooo through the roof right now I really don't want to bombard myself with boundaries and negative vibes"

"I suppose I will just take countless amounts of photos of myself to remind me what it is like to have the attention back on me."