how is it possible?

i have worked out the past 6 weeks, for five days a week, 90 minute work out and have only lost three pounds? 1200 calorie a day diet as well? are you kidding me?

goodbye blog?

lately I have been so consumed with official wedding planning as well as my daily work out routine that I have forgotten to blog about my life. Actually, truth be told I have another blog that is private that I have been blogging with daily but I have realized that there are a lot of things in my life that I am just not comfortable sharing with everyone. I am a pretty open person as it is so I felt the need to add more privacy in my life as important. I am going through a huge psychological change right now and I have rearranged my life so substantially the past three months that I have to ensure I don't lose myself in the midst of the chaos. I finally quit smoking, gave up soda, gave up dairy, and work out five days a week for an hour and a half. It is a big change for me because the majority of my twenties were spent going out, having fun with my friends, drinking, smoking cigarettes, eating vegetarian but BAD vegetarian meals, not getting enough sleep and really not taking care of myself. I truly let myself go in every way possible, so as I try to sort myself back it is hard to find anything to blog about..so until then...it shouldn't be long.

the everyday

everyday i do two loads of laundry, fold towels, sweep the bathroom floor, sweep the kitchen floor, vacuum the family room, vacuum the bedroom, workout for an hour, make sure there is not one dish or piece of silverware in the sink, drive davey to work or to church, clean the litterbox, feed the cats, make the bed, fluff the pillows, check the mail (except on sunday), listen to bach, write down my calories, go to starbucks, straighten up the kitchen, water the plants, drink some almond milk, go on facebook, read, online browsing, online shopping, look for my future home, lay next to my cats, watch the view, look for future jobs, finish my grad studies, obsess over chapman school of education for my phd, pick davey up from work or from church, think about smoking but be thankful that i quit, talk to my mom, talk to my dad, talk to the cats, and think how crazy i must come off to some people. these are honestly all things that i do everyday without fail.

sposa son disprezzata

some people can carry a tune, while others can actually sing. for all of the so-called singers in this world, a true idol and a star is in Cecilia Bartoli. When I first began vocal lessons my coach told me I would be able to sing like her one day if I practiced every day. I never came close to being like her, but I can still sing along with her to vivaldi. This is one of my favorite songs to sing along to, especially the part from 4:20 onward. A truly amazing woman, and an icon in the opera world.

nothing beats 60s glamour

moods

smoke

today i looked at myself in the mirror and I felt that I didn't look like myself. I hate moments like that because it makes me feel creepy in my own skin. i can see my face looking older and it frightens me.